The Four Fear-Based Reactions

The Four Fear-Based Reactions

We are all looking for happier and more fulfilled lives. Whether our desires are modest or spectacular, we often go to extreme lengths to get what we want. While we are all hoping to get lucky, we inherently know one thing ... our own actions have the primary impact on our success or failure.

Yet somehow, time after time, we self-sabotage. Sometimes we are blind to what we are doing, and of course nothing changes. At other times, even though we are fully aware we are acting in a counter-productive or even a destructive manner, we just cannot stop ourselves. Either way, it is our habitual negative behaviors that can make us each our own worst enemy.

Any such pattern, whether conscious or unconscious, is based upon fear. It could be a fear of getting something we do not want (such as rejection or physical pain), or a fear of losing something we do want (such as a relationship or a job). Either way, our own Fear-Based Reactions are the only true barriers to our personal growth and professional development.

The FOUR Fear-Based Reactions

FIGHT ... FLIGHT ... FREEZE ... FACADE

You may know of the “FIGHT or FLIGHT” survival theory, especially if you took a course such as Psychology 101. This concept describes the two Fear-Based Reactions of our ancient ancestors who, when faced with physical threats, would attack or retreat.

However, these were not the only two Fear-Based Reactions. There is a third form known as the “FREEZE”. Just as a deer freezes when suddenly caught in the headlights of a car, humans have learned to protect themselves by not moving, playing dead, or hiding in a cave.

Most of us probably think of ourselves as modern rational beings. Nonetheless, even though our Fear-Based Reactions are usually more subtle, we still tend to react to threats much as people did ages ago. Basically, we all react with FIGHT, FLIGHT, and FREEZE on a daily basis.

Couples argue and workers rant (FIGHT). People leave marriages and people quit jobs (FLIGHT). Spouses shut each other out and employees immerse themselves into busy-work (FREEZE).

Modern rational beings, however, have developed a fourth Fear-Based Reaction that does not fit the three older categories. I call this reactive category the “FACADE” – a false front, a lie. Whether used as an attempt to hurt someone through deception or to protect oneself or another person with a white-lie, a FACADE reaction is a camouflage of the truth.

Additionally, the four Fear-Based Reactions do not require the pre-requisite of actual danger. Simply feeling threatened is enough to trigger them. Reality and perceptions are equal under the Fear-Based Reaction process.

When reacting from fear, the brain believes whatever you tell it.

The brain does not know the difference between

what is real and what it perceives to be real.

It is important to note that all Fear-Based Reactions can be appropriate responses to actual threatening circumstances. Unfortunately, they can also become habits which may evolve into automatic patterns, even when there is no real threat. Since habits by definition are ‘non-think’ behaviors, in times of stress they can cause you do something you will come to regret ... often leaving you with considerable personal and professional consequences.

Instead of leaving your life to chance, the key to success is to identify and overcome your Fear-Based Reactions to negative circumstances. Think of this book as your ‘tool kit’ in this quest for self-control.

ALL of us have two things in common:

1) We each have a tendency towards TWO of the Fear-Based Reactions.

2) We each will occasionally demonstrate the OTHER two.

By becoming aware of your more obvious Fear-Based Reactions, it will then become easier for you to identify and overcome your more subtle ones. Only then are you truly in charge of your own life.

(From The Love-Based Leader)