The Love-Based Leader ... by James Roswell Quinn

2011-12-07T09:31:00.007-06:00

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911 "In Memoriam" by Peter Fromme-Douglas

2011-09-06T15:57:00.008-05:00

"In Memoriam"

Peter Fromme-Douglas

This painting was auctioned for $22,000,

to a group of NYC Businessmen.

The proceeds AND the painting were then

both donated to the NYC Firefighter's Museum.

God Bless You Peter.

God Bless all First Responders.

For the complete story behind this painting,

and some of Peter's photos of Ground Zero,

go to ...

www.fromme-douglas.com

Spontaneity

2011-06-03T01:21:00.003-05:00

"Occasionally, spontaneity is necessary.

Every now and then you need to get a little crazy, or you will go nuts."

FROM

"The Love-Based Leader"

http://lovebasedleader.com

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. on revenge ...

2011-05-04T11:27:00.001-05:00

“Man must evolve for all human conflict, a method, which rejects revenge, aggression, and retaliation.

The foundation of such a method is love. I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality.”

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

The Love-Based Leader

The Love-Based Leader ... ENDORSEMENTS

2011-02-27T12:38:00.004-06:00

ENDORSEMENTS

“James Roswell Quinn is Omni-Effective. He gets you to think, act, and change your life, and make it instantly better.”

Mark Victor Hansen

Co-Creator, Chicken Soup For The Soul

“The Love-Based Leader is a real WINNER! The great real-life stories make it a page-turner reference tool for joyful living! Quinn is bringing LOVE to a stressed-out world. TERRIFIC!”

Ed Foreman

U. S. Congressman from Texas and New Mexico

The first person elected to the U.S. Congress from two different states in 100 years.

"Learning to lead should be the focus for every successful business person. The ideas and examples in The Love-Based Leader provide a thoughtful approach on how to skillfully navigate an organization in the 21st century."

Dr. Nido Qubein

President, High Point University

Chairman, Great Harvest Bread

President, National Speakers Association

“Disney rarely brings in outside speakers and trainers. I am glad we decided to have Quinn run his Love-Based Leader workshop. Not only did everyone love the presentation, there have been noticeable changes in how people are solving problems. This was valuable.”

Joe Ranft

Walt Disney Feature Animation and Pixar

CREDITS: Finding Nemo, Cars, Toy Story, The Lion King, Monsters Inc., Beauty & The Beast, A Bugs Life, The Little Mermaid, The Incredibles, and more.

“Today’s workplace poses challenging situations. Quinn’s message on Love- Based Leadership, and recognizing the positive attributes within each of us, was inspiring and will contribute to a more balanced and constructive approach in the management of people and projects.”

Jean-Pierre St-Amand

President, Real Property Institute of Canada

“I have spoken to hundreds of Fortune 500 Companies. James Roswell Quinn is genuine, engaging, relevant and compassionate. He brings 100 years of wisdom and experience to the table. Quinn is a pro...a jaw dropper."

Brian Holloway

Vice-President of the NFL Player’s Association

Captain of the New England Patriots 1985 Super Bowl Team

“Clear, powerful, memorable and inspirational. The Love-Based Leader delivers insightful ideas and provides the action steps to put them to work. If you want to take your life and your business to the next level, this book is your launching pad for extraordinary results. Fantastic!”

Rich Fettke

Author of the best selling book, Extreme Success

The Love-Based Leader

2010-10-13T01:51:00.010-05:00

This powerful book is your handbook for SUCCESS in relationships and business.

You can LIVE fear-based ... or you can LEAD love-based.

Knowing how to make this choice changes everything.

31 years learning ... 9 years writing

The Love-Based Leader is going to ROCK your world.

Click HERE to order your copy!

Regular Price: $19.95.

Introductory Price: $16.95

Get your copy NOW.

Thank you ...

James Roswell Quinn

-= Forgiveness =-

2010-08-18T23:09:00.002-05:00

The Reason Most People Do Not Forgive:

“If I forgive you for what you did, it implies what you did was OK. Since what you did was not OK, I will not forgive you.”

Their Daughter Was Murdered

She was the kind of daughter parents dream of. She was talented, lovely, athletic, intelligent, joyful, and full of dreams for her life. Then one day, tragically, she was brutally murdered.

Her parents died more than a little bit that day. In an attempt to cope, they turned her bedroom into a shrine filled with photographs, trophies, newspaper articles, art projects, and other memorabilia. Unfortunately, this monument served only to intensify their grief.

Months passed, and the more they focused on their loss, the worse their grief became. But a few months later, the girl’s mother had a startling insight.

She asked her husband, “If we’d raised a son who could have done such a thing to another person, just imagine the pain we’d be going through.” Unbelievably, she and her husband went to the parents of their daughter’s killer to help them deal with their own grief and shame.

The deceased girl’s mother created a healing connection with people whom most of us would have resented, avoided, or even attacked. She even influenced her husband to participate.

Realizing they could not change their circumstance, and unwilling to forgive the man who killed their daughter, these people instead found peace by choosing to create a circumstance in which they could be loving and giving. What a powerful and beautiful legacy for their daughter.

You may not agree with their decision. But you have to agree that it took courage.

We may have no control over our circumstances. But we do have control over ourselves and how we handle those circumstances. By their nature, Love-Based Leaders do not follow the crowd. They find a course of action that works, regardless of what most people would do. Some people would call that the mark of greatness.

From:
The Love-Based Leader

The 80/20 Rule

2010-07-29T10:41:00.004-05:00

The 80/20 Rule

It has been calculated that 80% of the results in business

are created by only 20% of the people.

Successful 20th Century Position-Power Fear-Based Leaders

had the ability to attract, train, develop, and retain

those in the top 20%.
_______________________________

Successful 21st Century Love Based Leaders

will also have the ability to attract, train, develop, and retain

those in the top 20%...

who will then duplicate themselves by inspiring these people

to attract, train, develop, and retain

those in the top 20%...

who will then duplicate themselves by inspiring these

people to attract, train, develop, and retain

those in the top 20%...

etc ... etc ... etc ...
_______________________________

Traditional Position-Power Fear-Based Leaders

created Fear-Based Followers.

Successful 21st Century Love-Based Leaders

will create Love-Based Leaders.

From:
The Love-Based Leader

Four E's of Excellence

2010-07-27T23:36:00.004-05:00

Four E’s of Excellence

ETHICS - ENTHUSIASM - EVALUATION - EMPATHY

Present in all truly effective personal and professional relationships,

these elements could also be defined as vision, joy, determination,

and compassion. Regardless of the names we assign, self-control is

needed to demonstrate them in the face of negative circumstances.

When you become aware of your negative Fear-Based Reactions,

it becomes easier to see how you are attempting to control others

with actual or implied Position-Power. With that awareness, you

will be empowered to utilize the tools in my book,
THE LOVE-BASED LEADER,
to change your life and your results.

Instead of focusing on what others are doing wrong, learn to use

‘Four E’s of Excellence’ to take responsibility for yourself. Your

impact will be greatly enhanced as you experience the power of

living your life as a Love-Based Leader. It is worth the effort.

Excellence is the Art of Self-Control

From:
The Love-Based Leader

The Green Beret

2010-07-21T17:15:00.001-05:00

The Green Beret

Many years ago, there was a police officer in my class who literally had no fears. Officer ‘Smith’, a former Green Beret, was a member of his department’s S.W.A.T. team. He could not relate to any Fear-Based discussions, except from the position of being able to see how other people reacted to him because of their fears.

Officer Smith told us of his dream to become a Secret Service Agent. In fact, everything in his life had been geared to that one goal for as long as he could remember.

Unfortunately, his dream was destroyed by a single event. One night, while still in the army, he got in a bar fight because someone whistled at his date. It turned into a ‘Rambo’ situation, with him ending up fighting the whole bar, and beating up several men. After his arrest he found out that he had lost his security clearance, and his dream was now gone. There was no chance he could ever become a Secret Service Agent.

When he finished telling this story, I took a breath and said, “So basically, what you are telling me is that you are a weakling. You have no power, and it’s probably a good thing that you didn’t become a Secret Service Agent.”

I could see his rage building as I continued, “Let me get this straight. A guy did something you didn’t like, so you had to make him pay for it. Let’s see now, he spent an evening at the hospital, and you lost your dream. Who do you think paid the higher price? Who really lost?”

“They hurt your feelings, your pride, and your ego

for a minute. By reacting with rage,

you hurt yourself for a lifetime.”

His jaw slackened and he just looked at me. I continued, “You lost. You were beaten by sound waves. What a wimp.” I have never been the type of person to quit when I was ahead.

I was slowly backing up at that point because I was pretty sure I would get a reaction. But he just smiled and said, “I understand. I think I’m getting it now. I’ve arrested people who’ve thrown their lives away because someone else made them mad. I always wondered how they could be so blind. Yet, I did exactly the same thing.”

I smiled and breathed a sigh of relief. He smiled again and said, “You are the first person who has ever called me a name like that and walked away.” I was truly grateful he understood what I was talking about. Had he attacked me, our fight would have been a joke. While he probably knew dozens of ways of killing someone, I have never even been in a fistfight … not even once.

From: The Love-Based Leader

Love thy neighbor ...

2010-06-14T20:17:00.001-05:00

“Love thy neighbor as thyself.”

... Leviticus 19:18

Based on how most people love themselves,

our neighbors are in serious trouble.

From:

THE LOVE-BASED LEADER

Love-Based Leadership is NOT a New Concept

2010-05-12T14:51:00.005-05:00

The concept of Love-Based Leadership is not new.

But it is time for everyone to get with the program!

“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

‘The Golden Rule.’ Jesus, The Holy Bible, Matthew 7:12

“Not one of you truly believes

until you wish for others what you wish for yourself.”

Islam – The Prophet Muhammad, Hadith

“When you hurt someone else, you hurt yourself even more.”

Your Grandmother

“What is hateful to you, do not do to your neighbor.”

Judaism – Hillel, Talmud, Shabbat 31a

“Treat not others in ways that you

yourself would find hurtful.”

Buddhism – The Buddha, Udana-Varga 5.18

“For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction,

and a resultant.”

Sir Isaac Newton

“Do not do to others

what would cause pain if done to you.”

Hinduism – Mahabharata 5:1517

“Do not do to others

what you do not want done to yourself.”

Confucianism – Confucius, Analects 15:23

“We are but strands in the web of life.

Whatsoever we do to the web, we do to ourselves.”

Chief Seattle, of the Suquamish and Duwamish Native American Tribes

“Lay not on any soul a load that you would not wish

to be laid upon you, and desire not for anyone the things

you would not desire for yourself.”

Baha’I Faith – Baha’u’llah, Gleanings

“And in the end,

the love you take is equal to the love you make.”

The End – The Beatles, Lennon & McCartney, Abbey Road.

Finally, I contribute:

“And in the end,

the hate you take is equal to the hate YOU make.”

If you think this equation is wrong, then you need to look in the mirror. I challenge you to overcome your Fear-Based Reactions and create personal and professional greatness as a Love-Based Leader.

(From The Love-Based Leader)

Love-Based Leadership

2010-03-31T00:29:00.001-05:00

Regardless of your circumstances, and how you feel about them,

you really do have a choice ...

Live Fear-Based

– or –

Lead Love-Based

(From The Love-Based Leader)

The Business World is Changing

2010-03-23T02:58:00.002-05:00

The Business World Is Changing

The vast majority of the world’s largest corporations in 1900 are no longer in business. The Fortune 500 list from just 20 years ago, only slightly resembles today’s list; and it is changing even as you read this chapter.

Current and Past Achievements

Do NOT Equate With Future Successes

Over the last century, the premise in the business world has often reflected two basic principles:

The leaders of a company needed to have a clear vision, and a strategic plan for its achievement.
Management’s job was the successful implementation of that plan through the Fear-Based motivation, manipulation, and control of its employees and staff.

Nevertheless, despite the overwhelming emphasis on this old structure, Fear-Based management techniques are rapidly losing effectiveness. Globalization, the Internet, and increasing political, social, and competitive pressures are having a dramatic effect upon the business culture in America, and everywhere else.

Not only are an ever-increasing number of people not operating in alignment with corporate strategic plans, there is an increasing problem with staff turnover and employee dissatisfaction. As a result, more and more top-level people are leaving to work for competitors, or to start their own businesses.

The problem (and opportunity) is that the average employee has easy access to more knowledge and information than an entire corporation could obtain in the 1960’s. Additionally, far more employees are trained to be much more creative than in the past. As a result, they often have their own agenda of what is needed for the company.

When this occurs, not only does it frustrate the employee, it can place the employee out of alignment with corporate strategy. This will reduce the effectiveness of even the best strategic plan.

With the business world changing so rapidly, what now determines an organization’s ability to survive and thrive is management’s ability to Pro-Act and Create Consensus with independent thinking employees, staff, vendors, and customers. Organizations that are oblivious to this fact, are doomed.

(From The Love-Based Leader)

The FLIGHT Fear-Based Reaction

2010-03-20T09:40:00.002-05:00

“Every time I left a marriage, everything I was running from

got to the next relationship before I did.”

A former student after her 4^th divorce.

(From The Love-Based Leader)

Giving

2010-03-19T13:53:00.005-05:00

GIVING

Imagine a man freezing in an old log cabin

during a blizzard. Holding an armload of wood and
standing before a cold wood-stove, he shouts,

“Stove, I’ll give you wood ... when you give me heat.”

And he just stands there, freezing to death.

Holding on to the one thing that will save him.

When you wait to give, until your boss gives
you a promotion or your spouse gives you love,

just as that man in the cabin, you freeze to death.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Quit focusing on what you are going to GET.

Focus on what you have to GIVE.

(From The Love-Based Leader)

The Four Fear-Based Reactions

2010-03-16T16:36:00.004-05:00

The Four Fear-Based Reactions

We are all looking for happier and more fulfilled lives. Whether our desires are modest or spectacular, we often go to extreme lengths to get what we want. While we are all hoping to get lucky, we inherently know one thing ... our own actions have the primary impact on our success or failure.

Yet somehow, time after time, we self-sabotage. Sometimes we are blind to what we are doing, and of course nothing changes. At other times, even though we are fully aware we are acting in a counter-productive or even a destructive manner, we just cannot stop ourselves. Either way, it is our habitual negative behaviors that can make us each our own worst enemy.

Any such pattern, whether conscious or unconscious, is based upon fear. It could be a fear of getting something we do not want (such as rejection or physical pain), or a fear of losing something we do want (such as a relationship or a job). Either way, our own Fear-Based Reactions are the only true barriers to our personal growth and professional development.

The FOUR Fear-Based Reactions

FIGHT ... FLIGHT ... FREEZE ... FACADE

You may know of the “FIGHT or FLIGHT” survival theory, especially if you took a course such as Psychology 101. This concept describes the two Fear-Based Reactions of our ancient ancestors who, when faced with physical threats, would attack or retreat.

However, these were not the only two Fear-Based Reactions. There is a third form known as the “FREEZE”. Just as a deer freezes when suddenly caught in the headlights of a car, humans have learned to protect themselves by not moving, playing dead, or hiding in a cave.

Most of us probably think of ourselves as modern rational beings. Nonetheless, even though our Fear-Based Reactions are usually more subtle, we still tend to react to threats much as people did ages ago. Basically, we all react with FIGHT, FLIGHT, and FREEZE on a daily basis.

Couples argue and workers rant (FIGHT). People leave marriages and people quit jobs (FLIGHT). Spouses shut each other out and employees immerse themselves into busy-work (FREEZE).

Modern rational beings, however, have developed a fourth Fear-Based Reaction that does not fit the three older categories. I call this reactive category the “FACADE” – a false front, a lie. Whether used as an attempt to hurt someone through deception or to protect oneself or another person with a white-lie, a FACADE reaction is a camouflage of the truth.

Additionally, the four Fear-Based Reactions do not require the pre-requisite of actual danger. Simply feeling threatened is enough to trigger them. Reality and perceptions are equal under the Fear-Based Reaction process.

When reacting from fear, the brain believes whatever you tell it.

The brain does not know the difference between

what is real and what it perceives to be real.

It is important to note that all Fear-Based Reactions can be appropriate responses to actual threatening circumstances. Unfortunately, they can also become habits which may evolve into automatic patterns, even when there is no real threat. Since habits by definition are ‘non-think’ behaviors, in times of stress they can cause you do something you will come to regret ... often leaving you with considerable personal and professional consequences.

Instead of leaving your life to chance, the key to success is to identify and overcome your Fear-Based Reactions to negative circumstances. Think of this book as your ‘tool kit’ in this quest for self-control.

ALL of us have two things in common:

1) We each have a tendency towards TWO of the Fear-Based Reactions.

2) We each will occasionally demonstrate the OTHER two.

By becoming aware of your more obvious Fear-Based Reactions, it will then become easier for you to identify and overcome your more subtle ones. Only then are you truly in charge of your own life.

(From The Love-Based Leader)

Self-Improvement Course for Nations

2010-03-15T23:40:00.002-05:00

"We're All In This Together"

The Self-Improvement Course For Nations

Professional Self-Improvement Seminars began with Dale Carnegie in the 1930’s. The 1960’s saw the development of Personal Growth Seminars such as Sylva Mind Control, Mind Dynamics, and ‘est.' After that came Lifespring, LifeStream, Context, Insights, PSI World, Life Dynamics, Actualizations, PDI, Landmark Forum and hundreds of others. Then, in 2002, Dr Phil brought the concepts and techniques of self-improvement to mainstream TV audiences with his Get Real seminars. Now, let’s explore what it might look like if nations got into the act.

Facilitator: Welcome to "We’re All In This Together" the self-improvement seminar for nations. Some of you have existed as nations for hundreds of years, while others are relatively new. Regardless, none of you would be here today if there was not something you wanted to improve. First, let’s get to know each other. Please stand and tell us about yourself. Why are you here? What do you need to change to improve your results? What is your commitment to your own growth? Who wants to start? There, in the front row… New Zealand.

New Zealand: Hi everyone, I’m New Zealand.

Facilitator: Hello. So, why are you here?

New Zealand: I’m frustrated. It seems that no matter what I do, none of the other nations ever seem to notice me.

Facilitator: You realize the problem here is much bigger than ‘other nations not noticing you.’ How do you feel about yourself?

New Zealand: OK, I guess. But, I just never feel like I’m good enough.

Facilitator: In my experience, most nations are their own worst enemy.

New Zealand: That’s for sure. I’d never be friends with a country that treated me the way I treat me.

Facilitator: So it sounds like your real issue is self-worth. Would it be a satisfying experience for you if you could end this weekend feeling better about yourself?

New Zealand: Absolutely. I’d give anything for that.

Facilitator: Ok, New Zealand. Are you committed to that?

New Zealand: Yes. Sure.

Facilitator: Let me who else could use more ‘self-worth." I see hands by Dominican Republic, Mexico, South Africa, Thailand and hey … is that? Yes! Good for you, Russia. Everyone, let’s give New Zealand a round of applause. OK, who is next? There, in the back row, Switzerland.

Switzerland: Hi.

Facilitator: Hello Switzerland. So, why are you here?

Switzerland: I don’t know. I really don’t know. Perhaps I need to quit being so analytical?

Facilitator: Is that something you really want to change?

Switzerland: Sure. Just like anyone, I’d like to be spontaneous and have more fun.

Facilitator: OK. For the rest of the weekend I want you to focus on being spontaneous. OK?

Switzerland: OK. I’ll try.

Facilitator: Oops. As Yoda said, "There is no try, only DO."

Switzerland: Right. I’ll be spontaneous.

Facilitator: Great. Let me see the hands of the nations that need to be more spontaneous? I see Japan, Germany, Cuba, and Tibet … and there appear to be several nations who can’t decide. Trust me, if you’re asking yourself the question, "Do I need to be more spontaneous?" … You probably need to be. OK, who is next?"

France: I’ll go.

Facilitator: Terrific. So what brings you here?

France: Easy. I hate being judged. The USA over there has, how you say, a "control" issue and won’t listen to anybody. I tell them not to attack Iraq and suddenly I’m the bad guy. Is this fair?

Facilitator: Whoa, slow down. Such negativity. What are you doing to yourself?

France: Nothing. I’d prefer to have a little wine and make love. Maybe make some money. But no. The USA wants all the money and thinks critics are automatically their enemies.

Facilitator: OK. Stop. I think your problems are a lot bigger than the USA. What do you want?

France: Peace. I want to enjoy life without worrying about other nations.

Facilitator: The first step is to stop being so critical. Don’t you see that if you don’t stop judging others, you will never get them to stop judging you?

France: Possibly. But the USA has to stop trying to lead by force all the time.

Facilitator: OK. I’ll bite. How would you like them to act?

France: With love, of course.

Facilitator: So, you would like for the USA to exert more of a love-based approach to its leadership?

France: That would be magnifique.

Facilitator: Then you need to show them how. Demonstrate Love-Based leadership. Let’s start with acceptance. Repeat after me. "Criticism in any form is destructive."

France: You have got to be kidding.

Facilitator: Do you want peace?

France: Oui.

Facilitator: So, take a step and repeat after me. "Criticism in any form is destructive."

France: Criticism in any form is destructive.

Facilitator: Pretty good. Everybody give France a big hand. It’s a start France. Keep it up for the weekend and let’s see where it goes. OK?

France: Oui.

Facilitator: USA … your turn.

USA: This is ridiculous. I don’t need to be here.

France: See. There he goes already.

Facilitator: Um, France … we’re working on acceptance, OK?

France: Oui.

Facilitator: USA, Let’s try again. So, what’s going on?

USA: Great. Swell. This is perfect. I get attacked no matter what I do. After 9/11, everyone supported me against al-Quaeda. Then, when I go after Iraq, everyone has amnesia. To hell with you all. I don’t get mad. I get even!

Facilitator: Fascinating. Tell me. What are you feeling right now?

USA: Resentment. Anger. I am really mad.

Facilitator: Oh, sounds like you do not really mean it when you say, "I don’t get mad. I get even". I think what you really mean is, "When I get mad, I get even." So, what’s that anger doing to you?

USA: Nothing.

Facilitator: Nothing? You look like you are going to pop a vein.

USA: OK, so I’m a little stressed. What do you expect?

Facilitator: I don’t expect anything. I just want to know what that anger is doing to you.

USA: I guess it’s not helping me all that much.

Facilitator: I didn’t ask what it’s NOT doing, I asked what it IS doing.

USA: Well, OK. It’s … it’s hurting me. But I don’t know what else to do.

Facilitator: Fair enough. Let’s look a little deeper. What is your anger doing to your relationships?

USA: My relationships are fine.

Facilitator: Oh really? Wasn’t France your first relationship?

USA: Yep. But look at her. I bailed her out in WWI and WWII, and what’s the thanks I get… backstabbing.

Facilitator: So. Let me see now. France makes you mad?

USA: Tons.

Facilitator: And Iraq makes you mad?

USA: Sure

Facilitator: Who else?

USA: North Korea, Afghanistan, Iran … a bunch of them.

Facilitator: So, everyone else is wrong?

USA: Don’t say it like that. I’m not paranoid. They really are out to get me.

Facilitator: Even the nations that simply don’t want you to go to war?

USA: Yes.

Facilitator: I think you need to look a little deeper. Do you really think you’ll be happy when every other nation changes the way it’s treating you?

USA: Where are you going with this?

Facilitator: The foundation of this seminar is that there are only two ways you can improve your results in the international community. 1) Other nations change how they treat you, or 2) You change how you treat other nations. There is not a third alternative. So let me ask you the question again. Do you really think you’ll be happy when every other nation changes the way it’s treating you?

USA: No. I guess not. They all do things I think they should change.

Facilitator: Can I be honest with you?

USA: Sure. Why not?

Facilitator: When someone else makes you mad, who is in control of your anger?

USA: I am. Yes. I am in charge of my own feelings, right?

Facilitator: Not exactly. Follow me here. If they don’t do something wrong, you’re not mad. Right?

USA: Right

Facilitator: You only get mad when they do something wrong?

USA: Yep.

Facilitator: Well, if someone else’s behavior is causing your behavior… who is really in charge?

USA: I am. Well, nope. Wait a minute … OK. I get it, they are.

Facilitator: Very good. Bottom line. You are not in charge of yourself, but you want to control everyone else.

USA: Sounds pathetic when you say it like that.

Facilitator: Interesting response.

USA: So what should I do? Open my borders? Chant? Send flowers to terrorists?

Facilitator: I don’t know what your answer is. But do you need anger to institute better immigration policies?

USA: No … OK OK, I get it… so what should I do.

Facilitator: Perhaps the answer is not in what you do to protect yourself, but in how you do it. Perhaps you need to do the same things you are doing, but at least do them with some compassion for the problems of other nations. Personally, I’ve always thought you were at your strongest when you came from kindness. Let me ask you … do you want to be in charge of yourself?

USA: Absolutely

Facilitator: Then you need to stop reacting and start rebuilding the trust in your relationships.

USA: Yeah, I guess so. That would help.

Facilitator: Then let’s start with your resentment with France. Repeat after me … ready?

USA: Might as well. OK.

Facilitator: Look directly at France and say, "I love you and I accept you, even though I don’t understand you."

USA: Oh come on! After what she has done? No way.

Facilitator: USA, just try it. Now tell her, "I love you and I accept you, even though I don’t understand you."

USA: I love you and I accept you, even though I don’t understand you.

Facilitator: There you go. That wasn’t too bad was it? Now you and France give each other a hug. It’s a start. Everyone, give the USA and France a big hand. Now, everyone get a partner. I want you all to try this with at least three other nations. "I love you and I accept you, even though I don’t understand you." Ready, begin…

The Love-Based Leader in Business

2010-03-12T02:33:00.003-06:00

The Love-Based Leader in Business

It has been calculated that 80% of the results in business

are created by only 20% of the people.

______________________________________________

Successful 21st Century Love-Based Leaders will be those who will

not only attract, train, develop, and retain people in the top 20%,

but whose Love-Based Leadership will in turn inspire those

people to duplicate themselves by attracting, training, developing,

and retaining others in the top 20%.

These people will in turn duplicate themselves by inspiring,

attracting, training, developing, and retaining others in the top 20%.

These people will in turn duplicate themselves, and so on.

______________________________________________

Successful 20th Century Position-Power Fear-Based Leaders

often created Fear-Based Followers. Such ‘leaders’ are doomed.

Successful 21st Century Love-Based Leaders

will create other Love-Based Leaders.

(From The Love-Based Leader)

Buckminster Fuller - The 'Trimtab' Concept

2010-03-09T14:38:00.009-06:00

"A large ship goes by, and then comes the rudder. On the edge of the rudder is a miniature rudder called a trimtab. Moving the trimtab builds a low pressure which turns the rudder, that steers the gigantic ship, with almost no effort. One individual can be a trimtab, making a major difference."

R. Buckminster Fuller

Bucky's Tombstone reads:

"Call Me Trimtab"

Buckminster Fuller was a businessman, statesman, inventor, futurist, architect of the geodesic dome, and the man who coined the term, "Spaceship Earth."

Bucky's Dymaxion Map is the only map that shows all of Earth's land masses without distortion.

For example, as you can see below, Greenland, which typically appears about 3 times larger of Australia, is actually only about 1/4 the size of Australia.

If you feel moved to make a bigger difference with your life, I strongly suggest that you read Buckminster Fuller's powerful book, Critical Path. I also recommend that you utilize the resources of the The Buckminster Fuller Institute.

Photos courtesy of The Buckminster Fuller Institute.

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr - Quote

2010-03-08T10:19:00.003-06:00

"Man must evolve for all human conflict,

a method which rejects revenge,

aggression, and retaliation.

The foundation of such a method

is love.

I believe that unarmed truth

and unconditional love

will have the final word in reality."

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

From Quinn's Book, THE LOVE-BASED LEADER

Success ... You Are What You Think About

2010-03-07T10:38:00.008-06:00

Great people become great in spite of their problems. Most people throw away their greatness because of their problems.

Greatness is your birthright, but it is up to you to create it by identifying and overcoming your negative Fear-Based Reactions. They are the only true barriers to your success.

Regardless of your circumstances, and how you feel about them, you really do have a choice ...

Live Fear-Based

– or –

Lead Love-Based

"The World has enough people Living Fear-Based.

We need Love-Based Leaders ... and we need them NOW."

Success is no longer limited to the concept of income or power. Indeed, we have all met miserable “successful” persons. These rich and powerful people usually lack at least one of the following:

1) Long and healthy lives.

2) Intimate and joyous life-partners.

3) The love & respect of their children, friends, and/or peers.

4) A basic spirituality ... a higher purpose than just themselves.

James Allen’s wonderful book, As A Man Thinketh is dedicated to the concept that “you are what you think about.” In other words, what you think about most of the time is what you will become.

What do you think about most of the time? Are you becoming what you think about?

Worry too much, and you will become a chronic worrier. Get angry too much and you will not just have anger, you become an angry person. Isolate too much, and you will be alone. Analyze too much and you will become anal.

When something goes wrong, do you become defensive or creative? Are you negative or positive? Do you come from fear or from love?

It is quite easy to see if you are Living Fear-Based. You are consistently justifying at least one of the four Fear-Based Reactions ... Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Facade. You attack (Fight), run away (Flight), isolate (Freeze), or lie to protect yourself (Facade) ... with increasing regularity.

Certainly, each of these reactions can be appropriate responses to negative situations, but if they are occurring with any frequency you run the risk of “becoming” these reactions instead of “having” them.

The good news is that the alternative to Living Fear-Based is to Lead Love-Based. There are only four Love-Based Behaviors … Empathy, Enthusiasm, Evaluation, and Ethics. You treat others with respect (Empathy), come from joy (Enthusiasm), keep your priorities straight (Evaluation), and tell the truth (Ethics) ... with increasing regularity.

The secret is to stop justifying Fear-Based Living, just because you are experiencing negative circumstances.

The reality is that things will go wrong. When they do, the only relevant thing is for you to notice your Fear-Based Reaction (Fight, Flight, Freeze, or Facade), and then change your behavior (Empathy, Enthusiasm, Evaluation, and Ethics) ... and you will find that you will automatically become a Love-Based Leader in the process. People will notice. People will respond.

The creation of true life success is an 'all or nothing' game. You are either doing all four Love-Based Behaviors with increasing regularity ... or you are doing one or more of the Fear-Based Reactions with increasing regularity.

Life never stands still. You will end up in the direction you are heading.

Bottom line, you are either living in fear BECAUSE OF how others are treating you, or you are leading with love IN SPITE OF how others are treating you. You will become what you think about.

Success is in your own mind. It always has been. It always will be.

Regardless of your circumstances, and how you feel about them, you really do have a choice ...

Live Fear-Based

– or –

Lead Love-Based

"The World has enough people Living Fear-Based.

We need Love-Based Leaders ... and we need them NOW."

My wish is for you live life as a Love-Based Leader. By striving to make a difference WITH your life, not just IN your life, you will create a great life that you are proud of ... both personally and professionally.

Now that is what I call success.

FRIENDLY FRED

2010-03-06T22:36:00.005-06:00

(From Chapter One of The Love-Based Leader)

Friendly Fred

My wake-up call in the 1975 class with my parents was actually not my first exposure to Love-Based Leadership. My parents really did not save the good stuff for when I paid them a tuition. There were many occurrences where they demonstrated Love-Based Leadership, long before I coined the term.

"Love thy neighbor as thyself." ... Leviticus 19:18

Based on how most people love themselves,
Our neighbors are in serious trouble.

I recall one event which had a profound impact on both myself and my father. It happened in 1966, when we were living in Thousand Oaks, California.

My parents, James and Janet Quinn, were successful business owners. My father was president of the Merchant’s Association, president of the Chamber of Commerce, and was on the Board of Directors of California Lutheran College. My mother was president of one of the largest Republican women’s clubs in America. They also belonged to many other business, recreational, civic, and charitable organizations.

The natural consequence of their activities and friendships was a steady stream of people through our home. Add three teenagers (Nancy, Gary, and myself) plus our friends, and you can probably see why our house was referred to as the Quinn “circus”.

While ours was one of the most visited houses in town, I do not recall anyone ever visiting next door. Our neighbor, Fred, was the most unfriendly man I have ever known. He worked in public relations for American Airlines.

Every morning his garage door would open and Fred would leave for work. Every evening it would swallow him up. Fred so desired isolation he created a two-fence barrier between himself and his five backyard neighbors. Apparently, Fred did not feel just one fence was enough, because he actually built a second fence about one foot inside of the original. We jokingly nicknamed him “Friendly Fred”.

Friendly Fred's one love (hopefully in addition to his wife) was his beautiful dichondra lawn. While dichondra lawns are always green and never need mowing, they do require lots of sun and water. While Southern California is blessed with lots of sun, they do not get much rain. To compensate, Friendly Fred watered his precious dichondra lawn at least once a day. The result was squishy ground … so squishy you would leave an impression if you stepped on his lawn.

During the week, the only times we saw Friendly Fred was when he came outside to water his lawn. But on weekends, when we played football in the street or were riding our bikes on the sidewalk, Fred would come out to the curb to check for mail in his mailbox several times an hour. These little walks were always accompanied by a dirty stare or some yelling by Friendly Fred. He was so intimidating that if a ball or Frisbee landed in his back yard, nobody would ever knock on his door to get it back.

He was obviously consumed with protecting his property. If you have ever seen how teenagers can rebel against anyone who tries to enforce authority, then you know his fears were valid. In fact, we eventually got even with him by leaving footprints and tire impressions on his lawn.

Friendly Fred also resented anyone who parked in front of his house because they would leave impressions when they stepped on his lawn while going to and from their cars. It was this resentment that led to one of my greatest life lessons.

Since it was not always possible to find a parking space in front of the Quinn Circus, occasionally one of our visitors would park in front of Friendly Fred’s home. Fred would immediately rush out and yell at them. We figured he must sit by his window just waiting for his chance to bolt outside and explode on any unsuspecting victim.

Friendly Fred might have been unfriendly, but he wasn't stupid. One day he bought a Rain-Bird sprinkler which sprayed water not only onto his lawn, but way out into the street. “Now,” he must have thought, “nobody will park here.”

This worked like a charm, and nobody parked in front of Friendly Fred’s house when he was watering. However, since he could not water his lawn all of the time, those people who parked there when the sprinkler was off would still get to experience his hostility.

One time, Friendly Fred chose to water his lawn AFTER several cars had already parked in front of his house. When my brother and I noticed what he was doing, we started to get angry, but my father reminded us of one of his favorite sayings:

"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade."

So, instead of getting angry, we decided to have a little fun at Friendly Fred’s expense. Gary and I got chamois cloths, and proceeded to wash our friends' cars with Friendly Fred’s water.

Friendly Fred failed to see the humor in this, and he came out and yelled at us. We simply laughed at him to rub salt in his wounds. This is basically how we lived for several years.

Then, one day my parents were throwing a large party. They did not want trouble from Friendly Fred, so the invitations clearly warned everyone not to park in front of his house. Guests parked in front of other people's houses up and down the street. We were certain we would have a pleasant afternoon without having to deal with Friendly Fred.

It was a typical California summer day, hot and sunny. Most of the people were in the back yard cooking, eating and drinking. Some people were playing croquet and ping-pong while others were inside preparing food or shooting pool. Everyone was having a marvelous time.

Unfortunately, my father’s good friend Bill was late for the party. Bill had just returned from a trip and had spent the morning taking delivery of his dream car, a Cadillac convertible destined to be a classic.

Bill was so excited to show off his new car that he drove straight to our party without checking his mail. He never read the invitation with the parking warning, so he pulled his car into the only remaining space; smack in front of Friendly Fred’s house.

Bill joined the party and played the “Guess what I did today” game with us. After about an hour he told us about his new car, and we all hurried out front to see it.

To our collective horror we saw his beautiful Cadillac convertible, with the top down, being soaked by Friendly Fred’s sprinkler. Apparently, just after Bill arrived, Friendly Fred had decided it was a good time to water his lawn … and had been spraying Bill's new car with water for almost an hour.

My father literally exploded. In my 17 years, I had never seen him this angry. He was so furious he could not even talk. I honestly think you could have fried an egg on his forehead.

Suddenly, my father leapt over the little hedge separating our front yards, and ran across Friendly Fred’s dichondra lawn kicking out big divots of the wet sod with each step. When he got to the sprinkler, my father kicked it so hard that instead of shooting water into Bill’s Cadillac, the spray was directed into Friendly Fred’s open bedroom window. He also broke his own toe.

While Friendly Fred yelled at us, we moved Bill's car into our driveway to dry it out. There was surprisingly little damage. This, however, did not cool down my father. It did not help that Friendly Fred had called the police.

Friendly Fred wanted my dad arrested for wrecking his lawn, breaking his sprinkler, and soaking his drapes. Luckily, both officers knew my father so he was not arrested. They got him to return to the party while they dealt with Friendly Fred, but he was still extremely angry.

By now, everyone knew about what Friendly Fred had done to Bill’s car, and about how my father reacted. The party quickly lost its joyousness, and people soon departed. My father ranted all night about how he was going to get even with Friendly Fred.

The next day my father could not work because of his anger. He decided to come home early and make himself a drink. This is a man who never came home early, rarely got angry, and never got drunk. Yet there he sat, drinking in our family room with his anger increasing each minute.

About 5:30, we saw Friendly Fred drive past our house and get swallowed into his garage. I was worried my father might go next door and start a fight.

A few minutes later, Friendly Fred was coming up our sidewalk. In all the years we lived next door to each other, this was the first time he had come to our home.

Friendly Fred rang the bell and my dad opened the door. I was certain a fight was about to break out until I saw that Friendly Fred was crying. He looked at my dad and said, “Jim, I just wanted to come over to apologize for yesterday.”

My father was visibly confused. “Apologize?”

With tears flowing, Friendly Fred continued, “… and to thank you for the flowers.”

“Flowers?” my dad asked, really confused now.

Fred, oblivious to my dad’s confusion, was holding a small card. He read from it out loud.

Dear Fred,

Isn't it silly for people to act this way?
We really do love you.

Fred was actually sobbing as he read. When he finished, Fred handed the card to my father. I could see that the card was signed; “Jim & Jan”. At that moment, my father read it to himself …“Dear Fred. Isn’t it silly for people to act this way? We really do love you.”My father read and re-read the card, trying to figure out what was going on, until suddenly I saw him smile. As I found out later, he realized what had happened. In an attempt to solve the problems with our neighbor, my mother had sent flowers and a nice card to Friendly Fred.

But there was more. She had signed the card “Jim & Jan”. My mother knew my father would probably object to this Love-Based solution, and would have certainly refused to allow her to sign his name, so she said nothing to him about her little gift.

Finally, Friendly Fred said through his tears, “Thank you Jim. I want you to know this is the first time in my life anyone has sent me flowers, and I can’t tell you how much I appreciated getting them. But I really came over to thank you for something else."

At this point, he took the card back from my father and read aloud again. “Isn’t it silly for people to act this way? We really do love you.”

Practically bawling now, Friendly Fred managed to continue: “I want you to know, Jim, that except for my wife you are the only people in my life who have ever told me that they love me.”

With that, Friendly Fred broke down in sobs. My dad just held him in his arms, and nobody said a word for several minutes.

It was then that it hit me. Here we were, enjoying our circus and making fun of Friendly Fred, when the only thing he really needed from us, was the one thing we had been unwilling to give to him … our love.

Finally, Fred went home. Nevertheless, from that day onward, whenever anyone asked my father how to handle a difficult person, his response was always the same:

"Just give them love ... Just give them love ...

Just give them love."